Want to make him want you? Here’s a rule.
I know, I know, I hate rules, too. I hate telling women to follow them. I like offering mindful dos and don’ts that women can use as guidelines to make sure they are acting like one half of a considerate, respectful, loving, and caring whole. Rules, on the other hand, seem stifling and repressing to a woman’s individuality. I think, however, that the following rule is very empowering and actually helps relieve women of stifling insecurities and releases repressed sexual urges. So I will allow myself to suggest it.
Here it is:
Rule to Get Him Craving Your Sex: STOP trying to be sexy!
Your sex appeal in a man’s eyes has everything to do with how ALIVE and UNBRIDLED your Sex Spirit is.
What’s your Sex Spirit, you ask?
Your Sex Spirit is the part of you that loves and ENJOYS sex.
When you start obsessing over your body image and your level of attractiveness in an attempt to appear “sexy” to men, you are slowly killing your Sex Spirit.
When you buy high-fashion magazines full of glossy, airbrushed photos of runway models and famous actresses, and then STARE at their bodies, hair, makeup, and facial features, wishing you could look that way, your Sex Spirit is wilting away like the petals of an abused rose.
A LUMINOUS Sex Spirit radiates from women who allow their thoughts to break free from society’s idea of beauty and from inhibition and self-judgment. It WILDLY EMITS from women who aren’t ashamed of their urges and give their bodies full permission to be turned on at the thought of steamy, sweaty, yummy, juicy lovemaking.
When your insecurities and harsh inner voices are at work, your Sex Spirit dims. You STOP loving the bouncy, free, fun, tender, soulful, intimate side of sex. Instead, you start desperately clawing at ways to feel better about yourself. Your mind starts using sex and looking “sexy” like a weapon to validate your worth as a woman and as a person worth loving.
Your mind puts a lot of burdensome weight on sex appeal. It makes you feel like you have to be sexy and you have to turn men on to have status as a female, instead of just feeling sexual in your femininity, deeply pleasured by great lovemaking, and confident that a man will find that arousing.
A woman with a luminous Sex Spirit isn’t stuck in her corrosive thoughts about her sex appeal. She doesn’t have to dress provocatively if she doesn’t want to, or say suggestive, attention-grabbing things if she doesn’t want to, because she doesn’t obsess over whether or not men think she is sexy. She just cares about pleasurable lovemaking with the man she trusts and cares for.
This freedom from the chains of judgment makes her very attractive to all men.
Her sex appeal becomes about her vivacious, life-lusting, easily excitable, womanly energy, instead of about her looks. Therefore, she is sexually appealing no matter what she wears or how toned her body is.
“Find ways to feel good about life and feel good in your body.”
In fact, a woman with a luminous Sex Spirit could be wearing a frumpy sweater and a pair of jeans and still attract the attention of men. There will be something about her that they can’t quite put their fingers on—a vibe around her that screams, “I can get turned on in bed like you wouldn’t believe and my body knows what it wants.”
Oh boy, men love a woman with a lively Sex Spirit. It makes them eager to find her buttons, push them, and see what happens!
So how can you nourish your Sex Spirit?
First, stop trying to be perfect. Stop trying to look like an ideal body shape in your head or mold yourself into looking like what you THINK men want.
Stop being so hard on yourself about your self-image and start thinking about and FINDING OUT what TURNS YOU ON. Think about how pleasurable orgasms are or how delicious a man’s heavy, warm breaths feel on your shoulder when he is on top of you in bed. Whatever it is—being caressed by a hard-bodied male atop a bed of red roses; being kissed on your breasts; maybe even being spanked on your tushie—don’t judge it, just discover what it is. Take time before bed to go to your little filing cabinet of fantasy images, pull out one of these, and linger in it for a while. Even go to bed naked, thinking about these images while your cotton sheets caress your soft, curvy body. Your little filing cabinet will start to give your body permission to STOP feeling ashamed of being sexual.
Find ways to feel good about life and feel good in your body. Work out because you love how it makes your muscles warm and increases your sexual appetite, not because you hate the cellulite on your thighs and think your man secretly criticizes it in his head.
Find out what makeup, clothing, and hairstyles turn YOU on when you wear them. I love red lipstick. I love the idea of my lips looking like a strawberry that’s ripe and ready to be plucked. I wear it for this reason. It makes me feel sexual in my body. I don’t care about how men see my red lips: I care about how my red lipstick makes my lips feel full and tender and makes my whole body feel like it’s on the prowl for a man who dares to pluck my “sweet strawberry.”
And guess what? Know how many times I’ve heard men say, “Normally I don’t like bright red lipstick, but you wear it well”?
Find ways every day to pamper and dress your body so that YOU feel turned on inside, and babydoll, your Sex Spirit will light up like it’s the Vegas Strip at midnight on a Saturday.
If you want to know more ways to feel sexual and fabulous, do your orgasms (and his) a treat and invest in Inspire His Love for You. It’s full of empowering sex tips to get you out of your head in and into your body. Have you ever seen the behavior of a scolded dog– don’t think your body language and its ability to let go and feel pleasure aren’t affected by your inner demons!